Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Mass On Saturday Nite::

Allow patrons to enter the facility in a calm and timely fashion. Point finger and force a smile onto each patron who fails to produce a positive facial reaction to current event. Assist ignorant patrons who fail to move in a flailing motion during the period of noise, henceforth called, "MUSIC." If patrons become rowdy, stand aside and wait until the chaos subsides. When patrons have reached low levels of energy and the Music has concluded, direct the patrons in an unpolite, forceful manner towards the nearest exits. If necessary, cattle prods are located below the fire extinguisher and fire hose port.

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